What Does It Mean to Say "Good-Bye"?

 What Does It Mean to Say "Good-Bye"?

 

I know that my Redeemer lives!
What comfort this sweet sentence gives!
He lives, he lives, who once was dead;
He lives, my ever living head!

 

He lives to silence all my fears;
He lives to wipe away my tears;
He lives to calm my troubled heart;
He lives all blessings to impart.

 

He lives and grants me daily breath;
He lives, and I shall conquer death;
He lives my mansion to prepare;
He lives to bring me safely there.

 

He lives, all glory to his name!
He lives, my savior, still the same;
What joy this blest assurance gives:
I know that my Redeemer lives!

 

Today, Saturday, February 16, 2013, the descendants, extended family and friends of Elfrieda Louise Elizabeth Wessel Turnmire, will gather at Peace Lutheran Church in Claremont, Minnesota and later at Riverside Cemetery at Dodge Center, Minnesota to say "Good-Bye". I recently heard someone say that "good-byes" are never good. It is not always easy to say good-bye, whether you are parting for a short time or for a lifetime. For me, I knew that when I said good-bye to Mother on Sunday, January 13, 2013 after visiting for a short four days, that this would be the last time that I would see mother in person. The God of grace and glory called to her to everlasting rest less than one month later. To God Alone Be the Glory!

 

For each of Elfrieda Turnmire's children, today will carry with it a flood of emotions, memories, tears and grief. It is not possible for one to measure another's level of grief by mere expression of emotion. I fully realize that as the youngest of mother's eight children, I have the fewest memories. She was my mother for over 53 years. My oldest sibling has over 74 years of memories to process. Just as one cannot measure one's grief by their expressions of emotion, neither can one's grief be measured simply by a number of years.

 

Personally, I am thankful that my children had the opportunity to know their Grandma Turnmire for the years of their lives thus far. My paternal grandparents, the Turnmires, died years before I was born. Grandpa Wessel died when I was a toddler. I hold memories of Grandma Wessel and am thankful that my young family had the opportunity to visit with her shortly before her death. Dad died when I was 21 which is the same age as my younger daughter, Erin. My children never met their Grandpa Turnmire. This fact saddens me occasionally as I consider missed blessings for my children.

 

I miss my father often and have wished over the years that I could have discussed many different things with him. There is so much I do not know about this man who became my father at an age older than my years now. Of course, some of this is because I have now been a father myself for over 31 years. Countless times over the years, I have longed for and wished that I could have some time to sit with my father to discuss decisions I was facing or simply to have an adult discussion with him. I am confident in the promises of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ so therefore I trust that Mom and Dad are reunited in everlasting joy and peace.

 

Our family was not the expressive type so we did not hug or say "I love you" to one another during my formative years. To this day, most of my siblings and I will not express our feelings of love or most other emotions to each other. Though I saw my father in the hospital less than an hour before he died and he gripped my hand tightly during our final time together, I did not tell him that I loved him verbally out loud. It was apparent to me that Mother was not completely comfortable with saying "I love you", at least when I closed several of our final conversations with those words. Having said all of this, I knew that my parents loved me whether it was part of our family culture or not.

 

For the past few days, there has been a great celebration among the heavenly hosts and all the redeemed saints of God. Another of Christ's faithful servants has received her eternal reward - the crown of everlasting life which no one can take away. My mother was granted a blessed end. Her suffering was minimized and she was able to live at home alone up until a short four weeks before her death. God was very good to her. As we remember and rejoice at the life of Elfrieda Turnmire today, we also give thanks for the blessings she has poured out upon us. Today we say "good-bye".

 

Each of the "good-byes" which will be expressed for the woman who is a mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, great grandmother, great great grandmother, sister, aunt, cousin or friend will differ. Every person deals with grief on an individual basis. For me, saying "good-bye" to my mother means saying good-bye to the last tie that binds a family together. Realistically, I know that today will be the last time during this earthly life that I will see certain family members or family friends. Yes, I know that this may even include some of my siblings. The simple truth is that several of them will never go out of their way to visit me and that I will not subject myself to the grief and pain of attending family functions. It would be a great relief if I am proven wrong over the coming years.

 

There is another element of saying "good-bye" for me. Today means that I am able to say "GOOD-BYE" to the part of life requires me to play the role of someone else. While I have never been completely comfortable in my own skin, at least now the pretending is over. I am really grateful for the support of my partner Bill, my children, Bill's sons and friends over the last decade and more. Whether you accept the fact or not, whether you are open to me or not, I am the person that God made. Life is short and starting at 53, that means life is even shorter!

 

"Good-Bye Mother! Say 'Hi!' to Dad and tell him that I love him."

 

"Good-Bye family and friends that I will never see again. I pray that God will bless your life and perhaps we will meet again on the other side."

 

A life of "blessing to be a blessing to others" begins today. The glory belongs to God and our Savior, Jesus Christ!

 

God be with you till we meet again;
Keep love’s banner floating o’er you,
Strike death’s threatening wave before you;
God be with you till we meet again.

 

 Words: Jer­e­mi­ah E. Rank­in, in Gos­pel Bells, compiled by Rankin, J. W. Bisch­off, Otis Presb­rey (Chi­ca­go, Il­li­nois: The West­ern Sun­day School Pub­lish­ing Co., 1880).

 

~ DTurnmire