Your Label Does Not Define Me!

On Monday evening, 27 July 1959, at 8:37 pm, I was born the male child of white Midwestern Minnesota farmers. The youngest of eight children, I was a white American male. At the entry point of my life I could be defined as white, male, a son, a brother, a nephew, a cousin and most of all, an American. These are important facts to remember as this blog post is unveiled.

Sunday morning, 16 August 1959, I was baptized into Christ through the washing of Holy Baptism at Peace Lutheran Church, Claremont, Minnesota. On my twenty-first day of life, I became a Christian and as a result of the church of my parents, a Lutheran. Therefore, at 21 days old, I could be defined as a Christian Lutheran American male, a son, a brother, a nephew and cousin.

Throughout my formative years, I became a student, a classmate, a scholar, hopefully a friend to some, a leader, a mentor and even a date on rare occasions. Upon graduation from high school, I could be defined as a graduate and later a college student. The number of labels a person collects as life progresses is ever-increasing and ever-changing. How it is that nowadays people are quick to label a person or groups of persons baffles me. But we are not finished yet!

My parents had a proud heritage as farmers and I grew up as a farm kid, a farm boy, later became a dairy and swine farmer on my own for a time. More labels. As the youngest of eight, I was assigned the label uncle numerous times as my older sisters and brother married and began families. Through their marriages, I became a brother-in-law. From time to time, I was also known as a babysitter for family members.

Spiritually, I was confirmed in my faith on Sunday, 20 May 1973, and thus became a confirmand and a full member of The Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod. That foundation of faith led to my attendance and graduation from Concordia College (now University) in St. Paul, Minnesota. From there, I journeyed to Concordia Seminary in St. Louis, Missouri where I became known as a seminarian, a field worker, a vicar and finally, a graduate. This led to my ordination into the ministry where I was bestowed with the label of pastor.

Personally, I married and became a husband, a son-in-law, brother-in-law, and through time, a father of four beautiful children. Do you need a dictionary yet to keep up with the labels borne by me through the years? We still have a long way to go!

I have also served as a Sunday School teacher, catechism class teacher, Vacation Bible School coordinator, deacon, elder, church council member, usher and likely several more that I am not recalling. In the political realm, I have attained the title of Dodge County Young Republican president, treasurer of the Dodge County Republican party, candidate for county commissioner and delegate to a political convention. During my involvement in politics, I have campaigned for representatives, senators and governors. There was even an invitation to a gubernatorial ball and attendance at the event.

Seven paragraphs completed and not one mention of my sexuality. Yet there are those among us that would label me or groups of persons solely based on a small part of who I am. Before we get to that, I have been employed as an insurance representative, a youth worker, a financial aid student worker, a security agent at a major airport, backstage security for famous singers, help desk analyst, supervisor and manager. I have worked as a store systems supervisor, trainer, mentor and friend to colleagues.

As a pastor, I served churches in Wyoming, Minnesota and North Dakota. Faith is important to me and if you ask me to define myself, I will say that I am a believer first and foremost. Who I am flows from my faith and trust in God. I do what I do because Christ died for me. The decision to leave the ministry was not made lightly. The decision to embrace the person God made me to be cost dearly.

It is 17 years ago that I came out as a gay man. Even though this event may seem momentous to you, very little changed. I was still a son, father, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin, employee, friend, white American male. Foremost, I remained a Christian Lutheran and continued worshiping the God who created me in His image. That this detail was not discussed until the eleventh paragraph should put sexuality in perspective. While coming out may have been a defining moment, gay sexuality does not define me!

I am and will always be a passionate Christian American who cares deeply about the future of the United States of America. Yes, I am a white male of European descent. Yes, I am all of the labels outlined above. You can pick one or see me as the whole that I am.

 Currently, I am a husband and caregiver to a beautiful man who is facing death. As I offer him love and comfort him with the reassuring words of a loving God, I am supported by friends, family and the gift of music to uplift my soul. As Christians, we are called to be caring and compassionate following the footsteps of Christ. Please remember that "Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.” [1 Timothy 1:15-17 NIV] Looks like there is another label!

It seems that our obsession with labeling individuals or groups of persons is more irrational than when I set out to write this blog. Unless you are willing to carry around a volume of labels and state that I fit all of them, then your label does not define me! See me as the person that I am or don't see me at all.