In Memoriam: David Brian Turnmire

For all the saints who from their labors rest,

All who by faith before the world confessed,

Your name, O Jesus, be forever blest.

Alleluia, Alleluia!

The golden evening brightens in the west,

Soon, soon to faithful warriors comes their rest;

Sweet is the calm of paradise the blest.

                                                                           Alleluia, Alleluia!

Did I get your attention? Have you ever pondered the question of how loved ones, family members and friends will respond to your untimely death? Will there be abundant tears, a simple word of disbelief or some other outpouring of love and affection? Perhaps that is too much to ask after all. Human beings do not respond well in grief situations. Some may simply say: "Isn't that a shame, he was so young!" Or something like, "He will really be missed around here." "I don't know what I will do without him." We all know the saying though, "out of sight, out of mind." For many of us, after the memory passes, the card or flowers sent, the memorial donated to "our" favorite charity and maybe even an appearance at the mortuary or church, we go on with our lives after this brief interruption or our routine.

Another big question which I intend to remedy is the obituary. You know the written article that appears in newspapers, if you're lucky may be summarized on the local radio station and is often adapted for the funeral home brochure or church bulletin. In my experience, many obituaries are filled with over glorification and glossing over of faults and shortcomings. Why do we, human beings, find it so hard to tell the truth in many areas of lives? I decided to write my own obituary the way I would prefer it. So here goes:

David Brian Turnmire (1959-2010)

Former Lutheran Pastor and IT Professional

David Brian Turnmire, son of the late Roy William Turnmire and Elfrieda Louise nee Wessel, was born Monday, July 27, 1959 at Owatonna City Hospital in Owatonna, Minnesota. The youngest of eight children, David was raised on the family farm in rural Dodge Center, Minnesota. On Sunday, August 16, 1959, David was baptized into the Lutheran Christian faith through the waters of Holy Baptism at Peace Lutheran Church, Claremont, Minnesota with the Reverend Wilmer Schulz officiating. Edward and Sylvia nee Kuske Wessel served as his sponsors. David made a public affirmation of his Christian faith through the Rite of Confirmation at Peace Lutheran Church on Sunday, May 20, 1973. The Reverend Bert Schmidt officiated, at which time David received his lifetime Scripture verse:

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

(Joshua 1:9 NIV)

David attended public schools in Dodge Center and graduated with honors from Dodge Center High School on Sunday, May 29, 1977. After high school, David briefly attended Luther College in Decorah, Iowa before returning home to the family farm. There he engaged in the farming operation with his brother Glen for several years. On Saturday morning, June 20, 1981, David married Karen June nee Ziebell at Christ Lutheran Church, Byron, Minnesota. The Reverend Paul Birkeland officiated at the service. Following their marriage, the couple made their home in Kasson, Minnesota for a brief time. During their marriage, David and Karen were blessed with four children.

After a short tenure in the insurance industry, David returned to academics at Concordia College in St. Paul, Minnesota where he enrolled in the pre-seminary program of The Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod. He graduated summa cum laude from Concordia on Saturday, May 30, 1986 with a Bachelor of Liberal Arts degree, with a double minor in Biblical Languages and Christian Thought. Following graduation, the Turnmire family moved to St. Louis, Missouri where David attended Concordia Seminary. Accompanied by his family, David served a year of vicarage internship from 1988-1989 at St. Paul Lutheran Church, Niles, Michigan under the supervision of the Reverend Leo Kostizen and the elders of St. Paul. The following year, David graduated with a Master of Divinity degree on Friday, May 25, 1990. Earlier that day, he received his theological diploma and was certified for ordination into the pastoral ministry.

Upon completion of the seminary, David served as the assistant pastor of Trinity Lutheran Church, Gillette, Wyoming before receiving a call to pastor the dual parish of Zion Lutheran, Lewisville, Minnesota and Trinity Lutheran Church, Fieldon Township in rural Blue Earth County, Minnesota. David served those congregations from November 1, 1991 through late November 1997. Prior to leaving Lewisville, David received a call to serve as pastor of Holy Cross Lutheran Church in Lidgerwood, North Dakota. He served as the pastor of the congregation from November 1997 until Sunday, January 31, 1999, when David officially resigned from that congregation and the ministry of The Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod.

Remaining firm in his faith and believing that he remained called to ministry, David briefly ministered to a small group in a house-church setting. Later on, he was employed as a dairy milker on Qual Dairy Farm near Lisbon, North Dakota. Following that, David held positions with Bennigan's Restaurant, Petro, as a resident manager in Fargo, North Dakota. In February 2000, David relocated to Dallas, Texas, where he became employed by Excel Communications and later The Resource Center of Dallas. David and Karen were officially divorced on April 4, 2000.

The years spent in the Dallas area were times of great spiritual awakening and growth as David attended and participated at three different churches, including Ascension Lutheran Church, the Cathedral of Hope and Sanctuary of Love. In the summer of 2002, David made a decision to relocate to Minnesota to offer personal support to his three younger children. He arrived at the end of September and resided in south Minneapolis for several months.

On Monday, December 30, 2002, David met William J. Snyder III and the two became life partners a short time later. Shortly thereafter, David began his career at Regis Coporation on January 7, 2003, starting out as a Help Desk analyst with the IT Help Desk. David and Bill relocated to St. Louis Park and Minnetonka, Minnesota before moving to their currently owned home in Brooklyn Center, Minnesota in March 2007. David continued working at Regis Corporation, where he was later promoted to Help Desk Supervisor, Help Desk Manager, IT Business Analyst and IT Project Training Manager. He was laid off from his job at Regis due to the economic downturn on October 30, 2008. Since his Regis employment ended, David was unable to find permanent full time employment in the Twin Cities area.

David Brian Turnmire died at his home in Brooklyn Center, Minnesota on Wednesday, January 6, 2010. The cause of death is unknown at this time.

Preceded in death by his father, Roy, in 1980 and two unborn children in 1990 and 1991, David is survived by his life partner, Bill Snyder of Brooklyn Center; four children, daughter Amy Katherine Malheim (Jeremy) of Muncie, Indiana; son, Ryan David Turnmire, a student at Bethel University; son, Alan Mark Turnmire, also of Brooklyn Center; daughter, Erin Elisabeth Turnmire of Eagan, Minnesota; two stepsons, David Joseph Snyder of Brooklyn Park, Minnesota and Matthew John Snyder of Tyrone, Pennsylvania. David is also survived by his mother, Elfrieda Wessel Turnmire of Claremont, Minnesota; six sisters, Irene Dykes (James) of Fort Morgan, Colorado; Margaret Wilkins (Robert) of Eagan, Minnesota; Lorraine Nelson (John) of Lake Park, Iowa; Ruth Clark (Larry) of Wadena, Minnesota; Dorothy Crane (Barth) of Rochester, Minnesota and Alice Opatrny (Gregory) of Farmington, Minnesota; one brother, Glen Turnmire (Nickie) of Excello, Missouri; as well as many nieces and nephews.

David will also remembered by his former colleagues, business contacts, and numerous acquaintances and a few close friends.

To God Alone Be the Glory!

From earth's wide bounds, from ocean's farthest coast,

Through gates of pearl streams in the countless host,

Singing to Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

Alleluia, Alleluia!

Time for Everything

"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."

[Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 NIV]

One of the most beautiful and often quoted passages from Old Testament scripture is found in the book of Ecclesiastes. Many consider the man of wisdom, Solomon, to be the author of this book. Obviously, this could be debated further by theologians who dispute his authorship. My intentions here are to simply reflect upon the words of beauty quoted above.

As I began to consider a subject for today's blog, a couple of other topics came to me prior to settling on these verses and this topic. A number of years ago, I received a Christmas gift from the youth group at one of the churches I served as pastor. A beautiful piece of art, it included the words of Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 under a common heading assigned to these verses, "A Time for Everything". Little did I know that less than two years later I would, in turn, give the plaque to the parents of one of the youth who gave the plaque to me as a Christmas gift. She had been killed in a car accident during the fall of her senior year in high school.

While we are almost all aware of the fact that the things spoken about by the writer of Ecclesiastes are a part of human life, some of those events are beyond our control and timing. It saddens me to think that three of the young women who were friends with my older daughter, Amy, during her school years were killed suddenly in tragic accidents. Two of the young women had actually been babysitters for our children when they were younger. All three of them had spent the night at our house with Amy at least once. Two were killed in auto accidents and the other died in a boating accident while her family was on vacation. For none of them did it seem like it "should have been" their time to die.

There is a saying that "life goes on" and it does. That is not meant to sound calloused in any way but to express the truth. After the weeping and mourning, there is meant to be laughing and dancing. Pages and volumes could be written about the words of the passage above. It would be safe to say that there already have been pages and volumes written. So much could be said and written about the words' application to life in 2009. Wars, economic downturn, foreclosure, homelessness, downsizing, spring planting, pruning, cutting down, laughter and mourning are among the many activities still taking place each and every day as the world spins round and people live their lives.

Just a couple of days ago, I learned that someone I once knew very well had died over one year ago. Of course, finding out after the fact may not have the same impact it would have earlier. Still, there is a certain level of grief and sadness, followed by reminiscing about past experiences. I remember discovering that I liked asparagus while having dinner at their house, playing cards and drinking coffee, singing in a quartet with him and a couple of other individuals from the church, as well as occasionally joining him and some of the other morning coffee drinkers at the local cafe. As it turns out, I have discovered that no less than 28 other individuals from that one community, whom I either served as pastor or knew as acquaintances have died in the nearly twelve years since I lived there.

What this should mean for those of us who are still living is that each of needs to consider the "time" that we are given each day and make the most of it. While we continue to be about our daily activities, throwing things away, mending what we can, building, healing, embracing one another or choosing stoicism, there is "a time to live". Remember the young mother from an earlier posting who chose to teach her child "how to live" by teaching him "how to die." She knew that "there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." May each of us find that same insight for our own lives.

~ DB Turnmire