Train Up a Child (Blog #20)

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." [Proverbs 22:6 NIV] As a child growing up, I remember a poem that had been written out in one of my older sister's handwriting. The title of the poem was "Take Time". It is now presented on the Internet as an inspirational poem; the author is unknown.

TAKE TIME

Take time to think... it is the source of power.
Take time to play... it is the secret of perpetual youth.
Take time to pray... it is the greatest power on earth.
Take time to love and be loved... it is a God-given privilege.
Take time to be friendly... it is the road to happiness.
Take time to laugh... it is the music of the soul.
Take time to give... it is too short a day to be selfish.
Take time to work... it is the price of success.
Take time to do charity... it is the key to heaven.

Author Unknown

There is another inspirational poem which I received as a young father from the same sister who had written out the previous poem in her very lovely handwriting. It is entitled "Children Learn What They Live" and perhaps you will recognize it.

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE
Dorothy Law Nolte

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive.

If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself.

If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with jealousy, he learns what envy is.

If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident.

If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with praise, he learns to be appreciative.

If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love.

If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with recognition, he learns that it is good to have a goal.

If a child lives with sharing, he learns about generosity.

If a child lives with honesty and fairness, he learns what truth and justice are.

If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and in those about him.

If a child lives with friendliness, he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live.

If you live with serenity, your child will live with peace of mind.

Up until this point, I really haven't stated much other than to introduce you to the two inspirational and motivational poems presented above. Based on the Old Testament scripture from the Book of Proverbs, I would offer the following interpretation. It would seem to be true that children learn what they live and exemplify that in their own lives. Therefore, if you train a child to hide the truth and outright lie, then when he is older he will become an expert liar. If you train to a child to hate and fear, when she is older she will harbor hate and fear which is unfounded. If a child lives with inappropriate anger and outrage, then that same child will not be able to contain his own anger or express it appropriately. If you attempt to train a child by insulting her or shaming her, when that child is older she will lack self-confidence and self-worth.

Parents, God has given you a great responsibility and an opportunity. Many "Christian" parents may try to enforce the commandment without remembering that God speaks to them as parents as well. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother' — which is the first commandment with a promise— 'that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.' Fathers [and mothers], do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." [Ephesians 6:1-4 NIV] What are your children living with?

~ DB Turnmire

Times Marches On Part 2: This Is Now (Blog #19)

One of the questions that is asked on the popular classmate reconnection site, Classmates.com, is "What have you been doing with your life since you graduated?" In other words, what the heck have you being doing for the last 32 years? Wow! Thirty-two years has passed since graduation from Dodge Center High School. It is a good thing that memories fade over time, isn't it?

Before answering the question about what I have been doing, I would like to address another question of my own. Where have I been? Are you ready?
Starting out on the family farm, I briefly attended Luther College in Decorah, Iowa. I went on a sojourn for a couple of months. I returned to the family farm in rural Dodge Center and then after marriage, moved to Kasson, Minnesota. From Kasson, I moved back to rural Dodge Center, then to Rochester, Minnesota. After Rochester, I moved with my family to St. Paul, Minnesota. After four years in St. Paul, I moved to St. Louis, Missouri for two years, then moved to Niles, Michigan and returned to St. Louis for a final year.

From St. Louis, my journey took me to Gillette, Wyoming for one year. For a few months, we camped out in Claremont, Minnesota and then moved to Lewisville, Minnesota. After six years in Lewisville, the family headed for Lidgerwood, North Dakota. When things didn't quite work out in Lidgerwood, I moved on to Fargo, North Dakota and from there, I moved to Dallas, Texas. While in the Dallas vicinity, I also lived in Addison and Richardson, Texas in addition to three stints in Dallas proper. When I left Dallas, I moved to Minneapolis, Minnesota. Since returning to Minnesota, I have resided in St. Louis Park, Minnetonka and now Brooklyn Center.

At one time I was very good at moving, packing, condensing and purging. Of course, there have been numerous other learning and career experiences during the past 32 years. Probably the biggest learning opportunity has been life itself. But since you asked, following graduation, I have been involved in farming, carpet installation, farming again, insurance sales, airport and stadium security, youth work, Christian education, financial aid support at a college and seminary level, admissions support at a seminary, pastoral ministry, retail cashier, restaurant host, apartment on site management, telecommunications, administrative support, database management, non-profit volunteer training and management, banking mail room, help desk analyst, help desk supervisor, help desk management, IT business analysis and project training. During that period of time, I received a Bachelor of Liberal Arts degree and a Master of Divinity degree.

On a more personal level, I dated very few women. I was previously married and have four wonderful children. Eventually, the marriage ended after more than 18 years. There were a couple of doomed relationships before I met Bill. We have laughed, cried, argued, celebrated, agonized, consoled one another and through it all, attempted to remain optimistic for six years, six months and two days. To date, we have survived all the drama. Bill keeps me sane and provides me the strength to go on more than he realizes.

In my spare time, I like to read, listen to music, yard work, gardening, certain TV shows, a few movies, listen to others, provide guidance to my children and loved ones, solve problems, eat and occasionally sleep. Currently, I am unemployed, somewhat frustrated in my job search and obviously not taking the right approach. So there you have it, the last 32 years in a nutshell. It made me who I am today!

~ DB Turnmire

Time Marches On Part 1: That Was Then (Blog #18)

The year was 1976 when the photo to the left was taken. It was my senior picture for the class of 1977. Sometimes, it is very hard to believe that so much time has passed. It reminds me of the country song with the same theme by Tracy Lawrence. Time marches on!

Recently, I have taken an interest in networking sites like Facebook (second time around) and Classmates.com. I have been registered on Classmates.com for several years but never before was I that interested in connecting with those from my graduating class. For years, I avoided class reunions because I felt that I had not quite "achieved" what I had set out to do in life. Not that I am totally sure what it was I expected to achieve. I just knew that I had not achieved "it".

On a leap of faith, I did attend the twenty year reunion of the Dodge Center High School class of 1977. It was a great time. The fact that I received the award for "the male class member who had changed the most in 20 years" helped me enjoy the reunion. I also enjoyed the attention of my former classmates. Not being all that popular and even ridiculed by some of the "popular" people during high school, it was amazing to me who actually struck up conversations and, at least, appeared to be genuinely interested in my life.

If only the class of 1977 could see me now! I can only imagine the reactions I will receive should there be a 35 year reunion in the year 2012. Now depending on when that reunion would be held, we may be on the verge of the end of the world. In that case, it won't really matter much what any one's reaction is to any classmate that they have rarely or never laid eyes upon since high school graduation. So much speculation and only time will tell. We can be sure, no matter what happens, time will continue to march on!

~ DB Turnmire