Jumping In The Deep End

JUMPING IN THE DEEP END

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9 NIV

Having contemplated the writing of this blog post for several days, it now seems strange to me that I chose the title "Jumping In the Deep End" which could also be titled "Jumping In With Both Feet". Bill was the swimmer. I, who never took swimming lessons as a child, was terrified when I had to take a swimming class to meet one of the physical education requirements to obtain my Bachelor's degree at the institution then known as Concordia College in St. Paul, Minnesota. Bill competed for swim teams at swim meets. For me, to pass that swimming class in college, I had to swim across the pool and jump in the deep end. I survived by the grace of God and actually managed a "B" in swimming of all things!

Perhaps it is indeed appropriate that I write a blog borrowing from Bill's experience as an accomplished swimmer since he was, for the better part of the past two decades, my biggest advocate. He encouraged me to pursue my true calling and return to the ministry. Even though I have clung to my lifetime Scripture verse spoken at the rite of my Confirmation of faith, there always seemed to be a small obstacle that I viewed as a mountain in the way. You see, Bill knew that I would never be truly happy or content unless I returned to ministry.

What many do not know, especially in my family and among friends and acquaintances from high school and beyond, is that I viewed every minute of my time with Bill and in many other situations over the past nearly twenty years to be opportunities to answer the call to ministry. While from the outside it may seem if I have been wandering in the wilderness, I was engaged in spiritual warfare, healing ministry, emotional and spiritual counseling often to the neglect of my own physical, mental and emotional needs. The time of sojourning in the wilderness is coming to an end.

Early in June of this summer, I started a position as a contractor working with the IT Service Desk of the American Red Cross here in Johnstown, Pennsylvania. Midway through the second week of training, I became seriously ill and would not return to work until after a visit to urgent care on a Sunday and the emergency room on Monday. Missing 4 days of work in the first two and a half weeks is not an ideal way to start a new job. The next week, I was taken to the emergency room from work with a blood pressure of 210/100 and spent that night and the next day as a patient. Blood tests, urinalysis, x-rays, a CT scan, a stress test and a colonoscopy later revealed no real causes for the symptoms and recurring issues. On my birthday, July 27, management decided that I could switch to the schedule I had asked for - working an overnight shift - which would allow me time off during the week to schedule and keep medical appointments if needed. After continuing to be sick every other day or not even skipping a day in between, I implored my primary care physician to allow me stop taking one of my medications since I did not feel it had ever worked for me as was expected. He gave in and I have not been sick since. In fact, I feel better now than I have in several years! Thanks be to God!

Improved health and a clarity of thought and mind have allowed me to focus on spiritual things. Some of you will think this is odd but I have planned my memorial service including readings, hymns, a theme and a service for the committal as well. I have also compiled two CDs of my favorite music which are titled "In Memoriam - When You Hear This Think of Me" and "Saved By Grace". Paying attention to God speaking to me through His Word and in the words of hymns and spiritual songs, the message is clear. I remember singing the words of a hymn I looked forward to singing in that Midwestern congregation of The Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod, "Hark the Voice of Jesus Calling".

Hark, the voice of Jesus calling, "Who will go and work today?

Fields are white and harvests waiting, Who will bear the sheaves away?"

Loud and long the master calls you; Rich reward he offers free.

Who will answer, gladly saying, "Here am I. Send me, send me"?

Let none hear you idly saying, "There is nothing I can do,"

While the multitudes are dying And the master calls for you.

Take the task he gives you gladly; Let his work your pleasure be.

Answer quickly when he calls you, "Here am I. Send me, send me!"

"In the year that King Uzziah died [Isaiah] heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And [Isaiah] said, 'Here am I. Send me!'” [Isaiah 6:8 NIV]

The time is right! The time is now! No, not mere cliches which I am finding with every year hold a lot more meaning than many people accredit to such pithy sayings thrown around without thought or concern. January 31, 2019 will mark 20 years since I stepped down from the pulpit at Holy Cross Lutheran Church in Lidgerwood, North Dakota. It seems like a good time to share that I have begun the process of making formal application to return to ministry within the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. I pray for God's blessing as I continue in the journey that He set out for me and before me. You might say "I am jumping in the deep end with both feet"!

"Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip [us] with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen." [Hebrews 13:20-21 NIV]