The Urge to Reconnect (Blog #23)

There seems to be something about advancing in years that stirs an inner desire to reconnect with one's past. I am quite certain that is not a revelation for many people but it seems quite strange coming from me. Over the past 30 years, I have returned to my hometown very few times. It never seemed like I had any reason to go back. Following graduation from high school, I drifted away from my classmates. I have not seen many of them since the day we graduated that Sunday after in May so many years ago.

Recently, for some reason which I do not fully understand, a curiosity has driven me to reach out and reconnect with individuals from the past. Of course, whenever you try to reestablish connections, there is always the possibility that it will not be well received. Still, it seems worth the risk. For so many years, it seemed unnecessary to be informed about these individuals' lives or welfare. Over time, I think you begin to realize the importance of the first years of your life and the people that might have been a part of it.

Whether your memories of elementary school and high school are positive or not, those experiences definitely have an influence on the rest of your life. It also happens to be true that over time, the negative memories hopefully fade or no longer seem to be as bad as they once were. Another factor that comes into play is the fact of our own mortality. We realize as we grow older that we are not invincible or indestructible as we perhaps thought we were during high school or youth in general.

Over the years I have missed a number of class reunions. Most of them I avoided on purpose because I was dissatisfied with my own life's achievements. It obviously did not occur to me that others were experiencing their own life struggles, disappointments, failures, rebounds, starting over and all of the other things that happen to human beings during the course of their lives. Reflecting back, I am the one who cheated myself out of the opportunities to stay in touch or reconnect over the years. My next class reunion should be in three years. I, for one, cannot wait to see my classmates who also feel the need to reconnect.

"But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day." [2 Peter 3:8 NIV]

Difficult Transitions (Blog #5)

Transitions may be wonderful times in our lives. In fact, we may be excited and eager for certain transitions to take place. Such transitions might include graduation from high school, the change that takes place when two people move from being single to married and partnered, or the transition that takes place when one leaves a job to pursue a better, more fulfilling opportunity.

Other transitions that we face in our lives may not be so pleasant or enjoyable. On the other hand, there may be transitions that are bittersweet as well. For example, parents may experience joy in knowing children have grown to adulthood yet, at the same time, they may also have a sense of sadness knowing that they have now become empty-nesters. One who is retiring after a long career may be joyous and sad at the same time. It is very common for retirees to have difficulty making the transition from working every day to a more relaxed and casual pace of life.

There are also those transitions which we are totally unprepared for. Situations may be thrust upon completely without warning and preparation. For example, a few million individuals have found themselves without jobs in the last few years. These individuals have face transitions without preparation, anticipating further transitions and further life changes. Millions have been forced to make the transition from living in their own homes to rental homes and apartments, living with friends or relatives, or even finding themselves homeless. Not only are we unprepared for these types of transitions, we may never become comfortable with the changes we are forced to make.

Heavenly Father, you know the innermost yearning of our hearts and you know the path you have chosen for us to follow. Send your Holy Spirit, we pray, to heal our pains in the face of unwanted transitions which may be thrust upon us. Give us courage and wisdom to overcome our heartaches and guide us toward a greater good in our lives. Watch over us, guide us, protect and direct us along the path of righteousness. In Jesus' name, Amen!

~DB Turnmire

Learning For Life

At this time of the year, many families and individuals are focused on a common event - graduation! Children and adults from kindergarten through graduate and doctoral degree programs are celebrating accomplishments and achievements. During this time of year, I also have memories on certain days near the end of the month of May. May 25 marked the nineteenth anniversary of my seminary graduation. Tomorrow, May 29, will mark the thirty-second (yes "32" years!) anniversary of the date on which I received my high school diploma. The following day, May 30, is the twenty-third anniversary of my college graduation. While there are no remarkable memories of any of those dates, each holds a certain special sigfnificance in my life.

As I consider each of those anniversary dates, the years leading up to each one and the learning that prefaced each of those milestones, I recalled a story by Robert Fulghum which you might be familiar with, "All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten". Fulghum writes, "Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in Kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox at nursery school." Now for those who attended school in the days before Kindergarten was mandatory, perhaps the story would be rewritten to state that all you really ever needed to know was learned in first grade.

Fulghum's story is remarkable in that if everyone would put into practice the tenets of which he writes, the world would certainly be a different place. For example, "Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work some every day." Who among us does need to find more balance in life? In a world in which mere survival is fast becoming the driving force, there is a fear that if let our eyes stray from the career path to success, our lives will surely come crashing down around us. As a result, pharmaceutical companies are thrilled with their ability to supply the ever increasing need of medications to stabilize and maintain multiple generations.

Of course, my favorite is "Take a nap every afternoon". Fulghum goes on to further explain, "Think of what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world - had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap." Just think about it. Crime would take a time out, wars and hostilities would cease if only for a time, blood pressures would be reduced over time and the benefits could go on an on.

For those of you who have heard this story before, what did you think the first time you heard it? Did you, like me, sort of chuckle and think "what a cute story!" Then, if you stopped to think about and consider each of the things Robert Fulghum describes and each of the tenets he sets forth, you realize that this "little" story is filled with wisdom and understanding. Just imagine if everyone followed these rules: "Clean up your own mess. Don't take things that aren't yours. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody." Our world is so far from this that most of can barely imagine what would happen if we all started following his suggestions. Later on, he even suggests that our nation and the other nations of the world would adopt the same policy to clean up our own messes and put things back where we found them.

As we stated at the beginning of this post, families and individuals have celebrated and will celebrate accomplishments, diplomas and degrees. With two degrees and a high school diploma behind me, I still remember my first grade teacher as having perhaps the greatest impact on my educational life. Since I only attended Kindergarten briefly, I don't have the same memories as Robert Fulghum and others. Adjusting to school full time was a difficult transition for me and there are a number of painful memories during first grade. Still, Mrs. Argent made a great impact on me and helped me on the way to academic achievements throughout my educational experience to this point in my life. I will be forever grateful for her insights and willingness to work with me.

While Fulghum's thoughtfully written story leaves a lasting impression, one might argue that one never really learns everything he needs to know. It could be said that learning is a lifelong experience and that sometime the most important learning takes place in the face of adversity. To that end, I fully agree with Fulghum's final word in the story, "And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together."

~ DB Turnmire

The Merry Month of May

We have arrived in the month of May 2009. Another day, another month anticipated and now here. The month of may is typically filled with a myriad of celebrations including May Day, Cinco de Mayo, Mother's Day, Armed Forces Day and Memorial Day. There are websites that list of the observances scheduled to take place in May 2009. Some of the more noteworthy dates are National Missing Children's Day (May 25), Holocaust Remembrance Day (May 2), Peace Day (May 17) and Victoria Day (Canada - May 18). Of course, there are also Clean Up Your Room Day (May 10), Limerick Day (May 12) and Circus Day (May 19).

Aside from the official celebrations noted on various calendars, there are many other scheduled events during the month of May. Thousands of graduation ceremonies of all kinds typically take place in the month of May. These will include pre-school, kindergarten, junior high or middle school, high school, college and university graduations. Many high school juniors and seniors will participate in the annual prom during May. There will be field trips and field days, picnics and banquets, sporting events and kite flying during the merry month of May. Yes, there is even a day set aside as Kite Day.

In the world of sports, there are at least two major events that take place each year during the month of May. First, the annual running of the Kentucky Derby will take place at Churchill Downs on the first Saturday in May, which happens to be tomorrow. Friesan Fire is the early favorite to win the race. For many years, the Indianapolis 500 race was run on Memorial Day, May 30. When Memorial Day became one of the "Monday holidays", the race would then be run on the same Monday as Memorial Day was observed. The race is now held on the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend or the day prior to Memorial Day being observed.

Here in Minnesota during the month of May, there are opportunities to make a difference in the lives of other people. On Sunday, May 10 is the Susan G. Komen Twin Cities Race for the Cure. Walkers, runners and volunteers participate in this event to raise money to assist in the fight against breast cancer. The following Sunday, May 17, is the Minnesota AIDS Walk sponsored by the ING with the proceeds to benefit the Minnesota AIDS Project. Now more than ever, we need to raise the awareness of HIV infections in Minnesota. HIV cases among young males and females, ages 13 to 34, have more than doubled since 2001. The number of new HIV infections in Minnesota has risen for the last three years, from 2006 through 2008.

One last thing - since "April showers bring May flowers", don't forget to take some time to enjoy the beauty of springtime and to enjoy the flowers along the way. Consider the following words from one of my favorite spiritual hymns, "This Is My Father's World". Happy May!

This is my Father's world, the birds their carols raise,

the morning light, the lily white, declare their maker's praise.

This is my Father's world: he shines in all that's fair;

in the rustling grass I hear him pass; he speaks to me everywhere.

______

~ DB Turnmire