At the Crossroads: Going In a New Direction

It's official! Here we are approaching the seven-month mark of my unemployment stint and it seems as though no one wants to hire an unemployed business analyst / project manager with minimal training and experience! It seems that I am not considered for lower level positions such as help desk, supervisor or manager roles because I am "overqualified" or there is a concern that I will jump ship as soon as something better comes along. Apparently this means I am supposed to take a step back to re-evaluate the direction of my life and see if another career will be more amenable and in which it will be easier to find employment. Let's look at some details as we consider a life-changing decision (which will not be the first life-changing decision in the last half-century as we know it).

Biographically, I am the youngest son among eight children born to barely above poverty level farmers in southern Minnesota. As such, there are seven older siblings (six sisters and one brother) with my brother being the closest in age (seven years older). Staunch Missouri Synod Lutherans by appearance, I attended public schools in Dodge Center, Minnesota, where I graduated third in my high school class. I made a brief appearance (I was there long enough to move in, party and later drop out.)at Luther College in Decorah, Iowa during the spring semester following high school.

After a period of wandering like an Aramean, I returned to the family farmed and engaged in farming with my brother until I decided to get married. Some time later, it was decided that I would return to college and attended Concordia College in St. Paul, Minnesota in the pre-seminary program. Upon graduating from the program, I attended Concordia Seminary in St. Louis, Missouri to pursue my Master of Divinity degree and to become eligible for ordination into the clergy of the Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod. During the seminary program, I served a year of vicarage or internship at St. Paul Lutheran Church in Niles, Michigan.

By this time, the marriage has been blessed with two children, our older daughter Amy, born prior to the return to college and older son, Ryan, born during the last year at Concordia, St. Paul. Younger son, Alan, was born during our last fall in St. Louis, thus becoming the only one of our children not born in Minnesota. Following seminary, I became the assistant pastor of Trinity Lutheran Church, Gillette, Wyoming. Other parishes served include Trinity-Fieldon and Zion Lutheran Churches, Lewisville, Minnesota and Holy Cross Lutheran Church, Lidgerwood, North Dakota.

1999 was a big year of life changes for me. Not only was that the year I "celebrated" my 40th birthday, it was also the year I stepped away from ministry. As a result, I have now worked as a milker on a large dairy farm (550 cows per milking), resident apartment manager, restaurant host and trainer, convenience store cashier, telecom representative support agent, e-commerce support representative, independent contractor, part-time minister, database manager, front office manager, volunteer scheduler, volunteer trainer, bank mail room worker, help desk support representative, help desk supervisor, help desk manager, business analyst and project training manager. And no one wants to hire me! What's wrong with this picture?

Looking briefly at my experience prior to 1999, this would include independent farmer, fraternal life and health insurance sales, church youth worker, airport and stadium security, financial aid office support staff, admissions support staff and youth choir director. Extracurricular activities throughout school would include choir, National Honor Society, student council, Sunday School teacher, Vacation Bible School coordinator, drama, junior sales publicity chairperson and Spanish club.

Educationally, after high school, I graduated summa cum laude from Concordia College in St. Paul, Minnesota with a Bachelor of Liberal Arts degree with a double minor in Christian Thought and Biblical Languages. Furthermore, I earned a Master of Divinity degree from Concordia Seminary in St. Louis, where I was certified for ministry and also received a Theological Diploma. Recently, I have attended a number of computer software related courses, been certified as a Help Desk Analyst by the Help Desk Institute and completed nearly three years of Spanish language training through Berlitz International.

At this point, the question with which I am face is this: "What direction are you going to go with your life now, David?" Did you ever thoughtfully consider the poem by Robert Frost, "Road Less Travelled"?

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood...."

Perhaps the road I have been travelling is the wrong path. I must ask myself whether I have reached a dead end. Nancy Fox is president of Fox Coaching Associates, a business and career coaching firm. The following is an excerpt from her internet article entitled, "Reinventing Yourself After Fifty":

"What is it about reaching the age of fifty that is like a life switch being flipped on? All around us, people are hitting this momentous milestone. Suddenly, a new hunger is generated within,almost like an uncontrollable hankering for a piece of chocolate. But this craving is not quickly or easily satisfied with a sweet because this yearning comes from deep within hearts and soulsof boomers seeking purpose and fulfillment in the second half of their lives...

...

"How many of us selected our careers or made personal life choices based on what we considered practical, socially acceptable, or because we thought the money would be good? How many of us feel passionate about what we are doing because it lights us up and allows us to feel truly fulfilled? ...

...

"It has been found that most of us stopped allowing ourselves to have life dreams by the age of ten. As early as age ten, societal expectations put us in figurative strait jackets, and we becamelogic machines. Some of us may allow ourselves to think about our dreams. Most of us, though, have been conditioned to think, “I could never do that,” or “Who am I to do that?” A common self-sabotaging statement among boomers is, “I’m too old to try something new,” or “I’m not good enough.” Or “It’s too risky.”...

...

"There is a huge misconception about what reinventing oneself is all about. Personal reinvention is not about change. It is about living life from the place of who you truly are – your most authentic inner self. Not what the world expects you to be, not what you think you should be, but whom you know you are inside of you. For many, the ability to know who we truly are has been lost..."

...

[http://ezinearticles.com/?Reinventing-Yourself-After-50&id=667363 ]

A well-known, and my favorite, Shakespearean quote from "Hamlet" sums it up best:

"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man..."

~ DB Turnmire

Amazing News for Tough Times

As I become more comfortable with daily blogging and have begun to reach out to others and share the web address for my blog, I am being positively amazed by the response. As more of you read and share, please feel free to offer your comments. Perhaps we will be able to begin some positive discussions of some of the topics offered. Thanks to Annie, a friend and former co-worker, for taking the time out of her busy schedule to offer her comments. My daughter Amy tells me that the daily blog reminds her of listening to my sermons in church and that each day speaks to the things she is going through in life. One of my former parishioners, Yvonne, echoed those same sentiments in an email which I received from her today.

Just imagine how we could change the world by opening up positive dialogues on the topics and issues which would appear to set us apart from one another. The times in which we find ourselves living today are challenging to say the least. Economic hardship, unemployment, foreclosure, homelessness, an international swine flu epidemic, major wars in Iraq and Afghanistan - just to name some of the concerns on people's minds. Desperate times are also causing otherwise sane individuals to act in desperation. Rarely a week goes by without someone snapping mentally and killing themselves after they have killed a number of family members or even complete strangers.

There is an old saying that "when times get tough, you know your true friends". The biblical psalms remind us of what may happen when those closest to us cannot handle difficult situations in the lives of friends or family. "My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak. Because of all my enemies, I am the utter contempt of my neighbors; I am a dread to my friends — those who see me on the street flee from me. I am forgotten by them as though I were dead; I have become like broken pottery." [Psalm 33:10-12] Some who find themselves in despair feel that either there is no God or, if there is a God, they have surely been abandoned and there is no way out of the darkness.

Writing a daily blog is proving to be one of the most therapeutic measures I have ever taken. Yes, I am still unemployed and receive little or no response from most of my applications or resume submissions. We will miss our next mortgage payments and will likely be on the downward slope toward foreclosure. The upside of all this was reported in yesterday's blog. Our yard and the landscaping shrubs and trees look really nice. We are tearing out the rest of the carpet on the main floor to reveal the hardwood floors underneath. Strangely enough, I have lately become more determined to make every effort to stay in the house if possible. There is no mistaking that faith will be tested in the months to come.

I am often reminded of another scripture passage from the Book of Proverbs. Proverbs 18:24 encourages me with the reminder that "there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Recent experiences have also proven a measure of truth to the saying "out of sight, out of mind". How quickly and easily we forget those who come into our lives but for a season - "friends" and acquaintances, former co-workers and employees, or even family members.

Many of us are making an effort to get back to basics by streamlining, purging things, downsizing, etc. Maybe this is a good time to rediscover the basics of human relationships and interactions. Meaningful friendships require more than superficial knowledge of another person. Relationships which offer lasting benefits call for active sacrifice on our parts as well. The end result will definitely seem to be worth it. In case we could forget, Jesus said "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." [John 15:13] That is exactly what He did.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;'
Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

[John Newton, 1725-1807]

~ DB Turnmire

Fragile Life

How fragile is this life we lead anyway? The answer to that question will, of course, depend on your personal perspective. Where have you come from and where are you going? What are the foundational principles upon which you pursue your daily life?

During the spring of the year as nature renews itself, reminders of the fragility of life are all around us. Delicate young plants shoot forth from the earth seeking sunlight. Baby animals of both domestic and untamed species make their appearances on the planet. Millions of farmers and gardeners till the soil, plant the seeds and begin the tedious task of nurturing multitudes of flowers and crops toward maturity.

Consider what happens when not enough rain falls to water the soil. Seedling wither and die, grass becomes dried fuel for fires and the earth may become scorched by winds and, on occasion, wildfires - some caused by nature, others caused by mankind. The cycle goes on in nature if plants die and crops fail. When food is not available for animals, those precious babies may starve to death. On the other hand, a different kind of destruction may happen when there is too much rain and flood waters overtake the land. The results may actually be similar in the end.

There should be no doubt that life as we know it is in a fragile state. In our world today, in the midst of economic crisis, financial distress and foreclosure chaos, human life is more fragile than ever. Millions of families and inidviduals have lost their jobs, are unable to meet their mortgage payments and risk becoming homeless. Even renters have found themselves looking for a new place to call home because of a foreclosure on their rental housing. The stress of losing income and homes has taken its toll on many individuals. Recent news headlines relate the pain and sorrow that some have faced.

Countless individuals among us would never have imagined the state of the world today in our lifetimes. It seems as though there once existed an air of immunity - that this could not happen, especially in the United States of America. Yet here we are on April 18, 2009. If we look closely, we may actually see some signs of progress or recovery.

Hope for a better tomorrow and live each day as if it might be your last. Some may think that to be a morbid thought but I remember a story which I have heard more than once over the years. A young mother was asked how she would teach her young child "to live". She replied, "I will teach my child how to die because in preparing him to die, I will also be teaching him how to live each day of his life."

Life is fragile but just imagine how different life would be if every one of us lived each day as if it were our last. How different would we look at the simple things in life? Would we treat others with the dignity and respect they deserve? Would we make the most of every opportunity that was presented to us? It is most certainly something to think about.

~ DB Turnmire

Modern Day "Job"

Some of you are undoubtedly familiar with the Old Testament Biblical character, Job. This man had been blessed by God with family, land and possessions. God presented Job as an example of faithfulness and steadfastness to the Evil One. So confident in His servant, God allowed Satan to tempt this man of God in several feeble attempts to bring Job to the point of cursing his Maker.

As a result of "this deal", Job lost his entire family (except for his wife), his land, his possessions and his reputation among his so-called friends. Afflicted with sores which covered him from head to toe, his friends tried to convince Job that he had committed some horrrendous sin against God and was suffering the wrath of God in return. Even his wife could not understand why he refused to accept his fate and curse The Almighty.

In the face of our current economic times, many individuals find themselves facing circumstances which could set them up as "modern day Jobs". Jobs have been lost, homes have been foreclosed, and in some instances families have disintegrated under the stress of economic downturn. When facing difficult times, it would be easy to "curse God and die".

However, in the midst of my own economic downturn, I have been reminded that this is exactly when I should be considering my blessings. My life has been blessed and I continue to be amazed at how God provides. I have a loving life partner, Bill, who has supported me through these tough times even as he faces his own struggles with medical disability. For the most part, my children are supportive as they can be in the midst of their own life issues and challenges.

It has been more than five months since my previous employer terminated my employment due to the economic crisis. During the following weeks and months following my layoff, I have been unable to secure another position. Six monthly mortgage payments have been met during that time by the grace of God. To date, no monthly bill payments have been missed. Do I know how we will make next month's mortgage payment? Not at this time. I am always reminded of God's words to His servant, Joshua. "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." [Joshua 1:9]

Millions of individuals have lost gainful employment over the past two years in the United States alone. Depression and despair have led some to inflict pain and death on loved ones or strangers before surrendering to suicide. Thousands of individuals and families now find themselves homeless as a result of the home financing debacle. In modern times, the reaction of friends is often abandonment rather than pointing fingers of blame. Perhaps the result is even more devastating today than in Job's day.

Living in 2009, all of us find ourselves faced with challenges and questions basic to life in these uncertain times. We simply cannot take jobs, homes, friends and family for granted. By the end of the biblical account of Job, this man of God was blessed even more than he had been earlier in his life. On this side of this time of trial, it may be hard to envision the blessings on the other side.

Be encouraged, keep the faith, pray for endurance and trust that "the best is yet to come"!

~ DB Turnmire