Are You Really Having Fun When Time Flies?

Did you ever wonder who came up with the saying "time flies when you're having fun"? It seems to me that time flies even when I am not necessarily having the time of my life. Perhaps everyone looks at time from the perspective of their own life experience. For example, for a ten (10) year old child, each day is approximately .0275 percent of his or her lifetime. By the time I reach fifty (50), a half century, each day will be only .00548 percent of my entire lifetime up to that moment.

As you grow older, each twenty-four period becomes a smaller and smaller portion of your life. While each day does still have the same number of hours, they seem to pass by faster and faster. Perhaps you remember as a child how it seemed to take forever for a holiday or you birthday to arrive on a calendar. As adults, the birthdays seem to arrive more quickly every year and you barely remember what has taken place in your life over the latest twelve (12) months since the last big day.

Many professionals are taught to manage time wisely because once time is lost you cannot get it back. Business leaders are taught to manage time for projects and deadlines. Athletes in many sports are ever mindful of the clock because using minutes and seconds wisely may mean the difference between winning and losing. We even attempt to teach our children to use their time wisely for homework, chores, extra curricular activities, work and cleaning their rooms. However, what everyone young and old must remember is that time passes whether we manage it well or not.

I started out by posing the question "who came up with the saying 'time flies when you're having fun'?" It may be true that there are agonizing times when it seems as though time does not pass quickly enough. On the other hand, you may be the one facing a deadline for work and the hours seem to slip right through your grasp. You may be unemployed, your benefits are running out and the weeks and months just seem to disappear. Someone near and dear to you may be afflicted with a terrible disease and you fear not being there when the time comes to say good-bye. Probably all of us have experienced one of these scenarios as some point in our lives.

Many people flippantly throw out the common saying, "time flies when you're having fun". I am never quite sure it's being used in the proper context, even when I have said those words. What I do know is that time passes quickly when it is spring or summer in Minnesota. Time passes quickly for parents when you seemingly have a toddler one day and a high school graduate the next. Sometimes the time that has passed is evident in the mirror or when you realize that you have been out of high school "for how many years"!

How much fun we are actually having as time passes in our lives is largely based on our perspective or approach to life. I am not sure that it was ever intended that our lives would be filled with fun at every turn. Human lives, like yours and mine are filled with joy, sadness, happiness, sorrow, peace and anxiety. In light of that knowledge, it might be more appropriate to state that "time flies when you are content". True contentment comes from the ability to be content, satisfied with our situation in life. Sometimes you will be having fun but contentment does not depend on entertainment.

Whatever the circumstances of our lives, we will all do well to work toward being content. [Philippians 4:11] No matter what our station in life, time is going to fly!

~ DB Turnmire

Get Real in 2009!

Today is Wednesday, April 29, 2009 and the United States House of Representatives passed a federal hate crimes bill by a vote of 249-175. The Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act includes crimes which are committed against the LGBT community motivated by sexual orientation. Also known as the Matthew Shepard Act, the law if passed by the United States Senate later this year would allow law enforcements officials to look into the motivation behind criminal activities. President Obama and leaders in the Senate from both the Republican and Democratic parties support such legislation. Notable Senators supporting the bill included Senator Ted Kennedy (D-MA), Olympia Snowe (R-ME), Susan Collins (R-ME) and Arlen Specter (D-PA).

None of this should be surprising in 2009. Someone I find to be absolutely astounding is Republican Representative Virginia Foxx of North Carolina. With Matthew Shepard's mother in attendance in the House of Representatives today, Rep. Foxx stood up and had the audacity to claim that this legislation is based on a hoax. Quoting Rep. Foxx, "we know that that young man was killed in the commitment of a robbery. It wasn't because he was gay. This – the bill was named for him, hate crimes bill was named for him, but it’s really a hoax that that continues to be used as an excuse for passing these bills." To that I say, "get real Representative Foxx"!

Where does someone live that has such a skewed perspective on the reality of current events and life in America? Perhaps next door to those who believe that the holocaust never happened during the 1930s and 1940s? Russell Henderson and Aaron McKinney intended to rob Matthew Shepard's residence only after they had violated his person by robbing his personal items, pistol whipping him, torturing him, tying him to a fence in a remote rural area and leaving him to die. If these individuals had only intended to rob Matthew Shepard, why not rob him and throw him out of the car along the road. In fact, they had met him at a bar and offered him a ride home. Unless you just crawled out from under a rock after being there for 50 years, it seems pretty likely that McKinney and Henderson knew that Matthew Shepard was gay when they set out to kill him.

If the above description of the events leading up to Matthew Shepard's death do not describe a hate crime, I am clearly confounded. Let's set aside Matthew Shepard's sexual orientation for a minute. Think about those events whether he was straight or gay. Wouldn't you say that a crime that heinous in nature is motivated by hatred? Imagine what thoughts went through Matthew Shepard's mind as he endured such hatred. This young man who related well to almost everyone, according to his parents, had already endured pain and suffering in his life. He had been a rape victim during a high school trip to Morocco. Someone with so many gifts and abilities received pain, suffering and hatred in return from those who didn't really know him.

For Representative Virginia Foxx to be so callous as to stand on the floor of the United States House of Representatives and state that the hate crimes legislation has been perpetrated by a hoax, namely the death of Matthew Shepard, is not astounding at all - it is appalling! As long as we are unwilling to learn the lessons of history, it is likely that history will repeat itself. History is filled with periods during which turning a blind eye was easier than standing up for what is right.

As a person of faith, I am reminded of another parable taught by Jesus [Matthew 25:34-46]. Two groups of people had the same opportunities to make a difference in the lives of the hungry, the thirsty, the homeless, the sick and those in prison. One group helped out those around them and were welcomed into the kingdom of heaven. The other group said, "we didn't see these things" all around us. These were excluded from the heavenly kingdom. Jesus might say to those who see no reason for hate crime legislation, "Get real!"

~ DB Turnmire

Amazing News for Tough Times

As I become more comfortable with daily blogging and have begun to reach out to others and share the web address for my blog, I am being positively amazed by the response. As more of you read and share, please feel free to offer your comments. Perhaps we will be able to begin some positive discussions of some of the topics offered. Thanks to Annie, a friend and former co-worker, for taking the time out of her busy schedule to offer her comments. My daughter Amy tells me that the daily blog reminds her of listening to my sermons in church and that each day speaks to the things she is going through in life. One of my former parishioners, Yvonne, echoed those same sentiments in an email which I received from her today.

Just imagine how we could change the world by opening up positive dialogues on the topics and issues which would appear to set us apart from one another. The times in which we find ourselves living today are challenging to say the least. Economic hardship, unemployment, foreclosure, homelessness, an international swine flu epidemic, major wars in Iraq and Afghanistan - just to name some of the concerns on people's minds. Desperate times are also causing otherwise sane individuals to act in desperation. Rarely a week goes by without someone snapping mentally and killing themselves after they have killed a number of family members or even complete strangers.

There is an old saying that "when times get tough, you know your true friends". The biblical psalms remind us of what may happen when those closest to us cannot handle difficult situations in the lives of friends or family. "My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak. Because of all my enemies, I am the utter contempt of my neighbors; I am a dread to my friends — those who see me on the street flee from me. I am forgotten by them as though I were dead; I have become like broken pottery." [Psalm 33:10-12] Some who find themselves in despair feel that either there is no God or, if there is a God, they have surely been abandoned and there is no way out of the darkness.

Writing a daily blog is proving to be one of the most therapeutic measures I have ever taken. Yes, I am still unemployed and receive little or no response from most of my applications or resume submissions. We will miss our next mortgage payments and will likely be on the downward slope toward foreclosure. The upside of all this was reported in yesterday's blog. Our yard and the landscaping shrubs and trees look really nice. We are tearing out the rest of the carpet on the main floor to reveal the hardwood floors underneath. Strangely enough, I have lately become more determined to make every effort to stay in the house if possible. There is no mistaking that faith will be tested in the months to come.

I am often reminded of another scripture passage from the Book of Proverbs. Proverbs 18:24 encourages me with the reminder that "there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Recent experiences have also proven a measure of truth to the saying "out of sight, out of mind". How quickly and easily we forget those who come into our lives but for a season - "friends" and acquaintances, former co-workers and employees, or even family members.

Many of us are making an effort to get back to basics by streamlining, purging things, downsizing, etc. Maybe this is a good time to rediscover the basics of human relationships and interactions. Meaningful friendships require more than superficial knowledge of another person. Relationships which offer lasting benefits call for active sacrifice on our parts as well. The end result will definitely seem to be worth it. In case we could forget, Jesus said "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." [John 15:13] That is exactly what He did.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;'
Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

[John Newton, 1725-1807]

~ DB Turnmire

A Manic Monday Parable

Even though I am still out of the mainstream workaday world, I can honestly say that today was a bit of a manic Monday. I can add that the landscaping, shrubbery and rock beds around our house look better than they have in three springs since we moved into the house. Of course, to accomplish this, Alan (my younger son) and I worked for about five and a half hours straight non-stop. Pruning, trimming, raking, leaf vacuuming, bagging and chopping - all of which have taken their toll on aching muscles and an aging back. The end results, however, make it worth the pain and toil.

During our manic Monday yard work session, five shrubs are now completely gone and a couple dozen others are pruned and trimmed. By the end of the day, with the yard waste bin full and bags of leaves still sitting around from last fall, a couple of bushes escaped the trimmers or ax today. They are left for another day. One of them is a lilac bush which appears nearly dead, has sprouted very few leaves for the past two years and even fewer flowers.

The lilac bush in our backyard reminds me of Jesus' parable in the gospel according to Luke, chapter 13. A man had a fig tree in his yard and for three years he came looking for fruit on the tree. Every year, it produced the same result - no fruit! The owner of the fig tree then told the gardener who was taking care of his vineyard and trees to cut it down. In fact, the tree had been using up the soil and precious water without producing any fruit. This owner had given it a chance and it failed to produce.

Many of my former students and parishioners will remember hearing the definition of a parable as "an earthly story with a heavenly meaning". Unfortunately, some of my gay and non-gay readers will dismiss that definition and choose to think of this parable as a "nice story." However, the message of the parable relates to all of us, whether we are believers or not. Don't we all have something in our lives that takes up space, uses our resources and gets in the way of allowing us to be absolutely as productive as possible? You may or may not be like Bill and me with a tree in your backyard that hasn't brought forth fruit (or flowers in our case).

If I were leading a brainstorming session, we might come up with at least a starter list of things which prevent us from being as productive and successful as God intends us to be. Just to name a few we could include anger, frustration, resentments, bitterness, guilt, unhappiness, jealousy, fear, disappointment, pain and depression. As long as any of these feelings or states of mind is present in our lives, they have the ability at any given time to rise up and control the course of our thoughts and actions. Most of us are aware of the pious platitude to "Let go and let God." It sounds nice and easy but in reality is most often easier said than done.

There is no pigeon holing groups of people affected by these types of driving emotions. No casting off the curse to gay or straight people, rich or poor, educated or uneducated, or any specific ethnic group for that matter. Every one of us has to make a daily decision whether or not to allow one of these emotional states to detour the course of life. If not, I would encourage you to consider "laying the axe" so to speak to that which is preventing you from being the most productive individual possible. What kind of tree do you want to be? One that is vibrant, lively, full of life and productive? Or one that is stagnant, just existing and taking up resources with nothing to show for it?

~ DB Turnmire

Rejoice and Be Glad

"This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it!" [Psalm 118:24] These words from the Old Testament form one of my favorite Lord's day texts. For those of us who choose to view things from a Christ centered perspective, each day we have is a gift from the Lord and as such, each day is a Lord's day! At this moment in time, however, I am choosing to focus my attention on the words of the psalmist quoted above.

What dreary drudgery it must be to trudge through life thinking that day after day is void and without real meaning. Days become 24 hour periods to be endured rather than mini slices of our overall life which is itself a gift. Instead of viewing opportunities we might see only challenges. Those things in life which would be intended to slow us down and offer us times of reflections may be seen as annoyances. Uttering complaints seems far easier than lifting our voices in joyous restraint.

"So what is there to rejoice about on this Lord's Day?" you might ask. On April 26, 2009, the season of spring is upon us and the earth once again experiences an amazing transformation. The winter past is becoming a distant memory as trees bud and flower, flowers shoot forth from the earth and the lawns in the neighborhoods turns green as the grass makes a comeback. Spring rains which have watered the earth for the past couple of days provide much needed moisture and relief for the parched earth beneath.

Aside from the renewal of nature, you and I may rejoice in family, friends, health and well-being. Even if everything is not perfect in our lives, we undoubtedly have much to be thankful for. It has been said that no matter how bad things are in one's life, there may be someone else who is going through something worse. When we go through life with our eyes open, it doesn't take much to be aware of the pain and suffering in the world around us. One of my objectives in the ministry, which I believe I was called to, was to move people out of their "comfort zones" and open their eyes to new perspectives and challenges. Of course, this has not always worked so well in ministry and other positions in which I have found myself.

Yesterday, I looked forward to the Lord's Day to bring more peace, less stress, renewal and relaxation. For the most part, the day has lived up to my expectations. Lest I forget that the things I hoped for are indeed blessings, I am always reminded to be thankful and rejoice in each day. All of this may be summed up in the words of the first verse of Psalm 118, from which I quoted verse 24 above. "Give thank to the LORD, for He is good; His love endures forever!" [Psalm 118:1]

~DB Turnmire

Killer Stress

It is common knowledge that excessive stress is harmful to one's health and can contribute to debilitating and life threatening conditions like stroke or heart disease. While I would be overjoyed to write a blog telling everyone that I have no stress, life is wonderful and could not be better, and the sun will shine and the birds will sing tomorrow, that would be a fabrication of a non-truth.

Unfortunately, it is sometimes those closest to us that precipitate the greatest amounts of stresses in our lives. As the father of three adult children and a fourth nearly a chronological adult, what has probably been apparent to my mother for more than fifty years is now obvious to me as well. Even though our children are supposedly mature in age, we are never able to stop being the parent. In fact, they still look to you to fulfill that parental role.

This is true even as they strive to make lives of their own as adults. A parent hopes that their children will grow up and set childish things aside. One hopes that eventually adult children will grow to act civilly toward each other and at least carry on a conversation free of accusations and blame. Maybe someday that will be true but currently, that does not seem to be the case. Sure there are bright and shining moments when I am able to see a glimpse of the calm serenity which I would hope everyone enjoys.

Having said all of that, I am looking forward to Sunday as a day of less stress, more rest and peaceful calm. Tomorrow, I will arise with such expectations and look forward to being thankful for "the day of the Lord".

~ DB Turnmire

Thank God It's Friday!

Millions of working people around the world look forward to their weekend and the phrase "T.G.I.F." is thrown around with abandon. Most of these individuals are looking forward to Saturday and Sunday as a time for their weekend activities, time to go shopping, do yard work, clean the house or just plain to rest and relax. Of those who freely use the acronym, T.G.I.F., probably very few consider the original meaning of the words themselves. While it would seem that this is a somewhat flippant use of the divine since not many are really thanking God for anything.

Nonetheless, TGIF continues to be commonly used. Of course, I will readily admit that many times during my years of employment, I have also used the phrase or the acronym. There have been times when I have sincerely thanked God for a certain day, including some Fridays. At the time of this writing, I am thankful that today, a Friday, is almost over. It has been a long day of installing appliances, connecting gas lines, and venting a clothes dryer. It was not necessarily my idea of a good time. Yet, when the tasks are complete, there is a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment.

Throughout my life, I have readily given the credit to God for my talents, abilities, skills and ability to learn new things. In many areas, except motor vehicles, I consider myself to be quite capable and am willing to take on new projects as they come up. Make no mistake, these projects usually take their toll on my aging back, muscles, arms and legs. Still, I am thankful that I am able to carry out these tasks reasonably well. Thanks goes to God.

Like every day I have the opportunity to wake up, breathe in and out, and carry on daily activities, I am thankful. Thankful for Friday, just like I will be thankful for Saturday and Sunday as well. Yes, I will be thankful for each day that I am able to live by grace. So T.G.I.F. ~ Thank God It's Friday!

~ DB Turnmire

Joys of Home Ownership

Please allow me to preface this blog by saying that the contents herein are not intended to come across as a complaint, simply stating the facts as I have experienced them. When Bill and I purchased our home in March 2007, we were aware that several of the appliances were dated. In fact, following the home inspection prior to purchase, we requested a new hot water heater be installed and the sellers obliged. That left us with middle-aged appliances in the kitchen, a newer washer (less than 6 years old at the time), a nearly antique clothes dryer, an old furnace and air conditioning unit and a pretty well used water softener.

A few weeks ago, the water softener began to have some issues and the verdict is still out on that one. Then, a few days ago the faucet over the wash tub in the laundry area began to leak. Yesterday, the washer decided that is was done and stopped working. Now we fully understood that we were getting by on borrowed time with dryer, the furnace and air conditioner, and maybe the kitchen appliances. We thought we were good with the washer because it was the newest appliance in the house. Wrong!

Today we decided that we were going to replace both the washer and dryer so we would have a matched set. We also thought that if we waited with the dryer, it would surely be the next thing to conk out and we would go through this all over again. Neither of us knew the difficulties of shopping for a washer and a "gas" dryer to match. Being proactive, I had already disconnected both the washer and dryer prior to shopping so when I heard that it would take up to ten (10) days to order in certain "gas" dryers, I was less than overjoyed. I didn't have ten days to wait for a new dryer. Therefore, I had to make a tough choice. Should I purchase the in stock "gas" dryer and a non-matching washer which offered the features we were looking for?

After looking at various models of washers and dryers and then looking at them all again, it was time to make a decision. Choosing practicality and availability over aesthetics, I went with the models which could be delivered our home the next day. After returning home and cleaning to make ready for the new laundry machines, I noticed that the faucet over the laundry tub would not stop dripping. So I made the decision to take the faucet handles apart and replace the washers in an attempt to repair the drippage. Let's keep our fingers crossed that this actually worked.

Earlier I said that the verdict is still out on the water softener. I foresee replacing or repairing that in the near future. Yes indeed, the joys of home ownership. A month ago, we discussed moving out of the house into an apartment. We looked a number of apartments along the way before we decided to ride the wave and stay in the house. We do not know what the future will hold but you can be sure, there will be more joyous experiences as long as we continue to live in a home of our own.

~ DB Turnmire

Wednesday Release Time

When I attended elementary school from the mid-1960s until the early 1970s, things were a bit different than they are today. Raised in a church going family in a relatively small farming community in southern Minnesota, the town in which I attended school had no less than eight churches at the time. Every mainstream denomination of the day was represented except for the Presbyterians and the next towns in either direction hosted that group of followers. We had two Lutheran churches, a Roman Catholic church, seventh-day versions of the Baptists and Adventists, a Methodist church, a Congregational church and the Assemblies of God. Today there are even more denominational groups represented in the same town.

By the time I made it to high school and sang in the choir a couple of years, the choir director who, believe it or not, still teaches elementary music in the schools there, directed us to sing "Stille Nacht" at our Christmas concert. They were still called "Christmas" concerts then and no one blinked an eye at the though of singing the German version of "Silent Night" at the public high schools.

Since I attended public schools from kindergarten (which I only attended one day of kindergarten and graduated) through high school graduation, one of the memories of Wednesdays is "Release Time". Undoubtedly, a few of you out there will also remember your schools permitting release time classes even if you yourself did not attend. Our schools provided a time on Wednesdays for those students who wished to attend religious classes at the church of their choice. Of course, that meant that the church of their choice had to offer classes for the appropriate age groups. Since the local Catholic church taught catechism classes on Wednesdays after school, they did not participate in the release time program.

My family attended church in a different town so my parents decided that I could attend release time classes at one of the churches in the same town where I attended school. For some reason, I have a vague recollection about going to the wrong church for the first week of release time classes. Elementary school had its very traumatic moments for me so that is probably why this memory is unclear. What I do remember is attending release time with a couple of classmates who would later become valedictorian and salutatorian of our graduating class. None of which has anything to do with release time classes.

One of the other things I remember about Wednesdays when I attended public schools more than thirty years ago was that Wednesday night was always set aside for churches. Sports' practices were shortened on Wednesdays and no concerts, athletic events, meetings or other school activities were held. In the absence of any church related activity for your family, it was intended to be a family night for school parents and their children. However, today, because of the overal increase in the number of activities, schools are required to conduct sporting events, concerts and other activities on Wednesdays, Saturdays and sometimes Sundays. For some, there may be no break for reflection or family time.

Today is Earth Day and much emphasis should rightly be placed on preserving the planet, reclaiming the environment and stopping global warming. Just yesterday as I drove along the highway, I noticed how much garbage is laying there after the winter's snow has melted. The busyness of our lifestyle, which often keeps us running seven days a week, contributes to the increase in the global warming effect. Just imagine how much difference we could make in America if there was still an evening set aside where cars could stayed park in the driveway or garage and families of all shapes and sizes stayed in and enjoyed a home cooked dinner instead of grabbing something at a fast food restaurant.

Perhaps a new tenet could be that we set aside a new "release time" and give the earth a break!

~ DB Turnmire

A Terrific Tuesday to Tell Tales

Edgar Allen Poe is undoubtedly my favorite poet. Poe's use of alliteration in poems like "The Raven" demonstrates incredible use of the English language to captivate the reader's or listener's attention. Poe is perhaps the premier poet with a penchant for penetrating poetry with perfect pitch. No one will probably understand the previous sentence and that will be fine with me. Soon, the point will be plain for everyone to see.

This morning, I arose in a mood to speak and write alliteratively. After sending some simple sentences to a couple of former co-workers and two family members, I decided that it would be perfect to write today's blog using alliterative techniques. Before I began to blog, basking in beams of brightness beyond, I took time out to break bread blissfully.

Definitely, if we persisted on speaking and writing constantly using alliterations, we might grow weary of trying to be witty. However, it cannot be said that striving for a more colorful use language would necessarily be a bad thing to work toward. After all, it sometimes occurs to me that some individuals whom I encounter do not have a good grasp of language and grammar.

As we advance further in the technological age, human interaction becomes less frequent. Daily, we become more and more comfortable with techno speak - text messages, instant messages, Internet postings, etc. As a result, many find themselves less comfortable with carrying on conversations between themselves and another person. Individuals now work at home performing online tasks and have the potential of going for days without actually speaking to another human being.

Those who still allow themselves the pleasure of reading old-fashioned books have a great opportunity still afforded to all but not taken advantage of as once before. Within books of history, romance, fiction, poetry and biography (to name a few), the world of creative language used in unveiled. Librarians and literarians, like Lawrence Ferlinghetti*, recognize themselves as advocates for literacy. Groups like these are longing to liberate the masses from the literal barbarians who seem to be lurking at the gates.

*[Read more about Lawrence Felinghetti who received National Book Awards' Literarian Award for outstanding service to the literary community on November 16, 2005 @ http://citylightsfoundation.org/beat/LF/CLLFliterarians.html.]

Thoughts Dancing In the Night

Shadows of the night appear as I gaze out the window
Mystified by racing thoughts and premonitions.
All is not well, yet what could this mean
Alone in the darkness with someone beside me?

Feelings of sadness fill me at daylight;
Reflections dance round inspired by desire.
Filled with fears of what is unknown
I trudge through another day detached from the world.

Daylight fades as evening approaches marking day’s end.
Things not said form walls that divide;
Anger erupts to pierce the silence;
Raging questions and heated emotions take their toll.

Wearied silence creeps in on the heels of the night.
The same shapes and shadows reveal themselves
As I stare out the window,
Longing for a peace not even I understand.

NOTE: This poem was considered a work in progress when I stopped working on it on February 17. Upon returning to discover the poem on Monday, 20 April 2009, I determined that it was indeed complete “as is.” It also occurred to me that poetry is often a snapshot in time and not always reflective of the bigger picture. To read more into one’s poem than appears on the page would likely be a huge mistake.

~ DB Turnmire

A Day of Rest

While I was initially inclined to take the day off and not write a blog today, some of my closest followers encouraged me to complete a blog before the day was over. At 11:30pm (CDT), here I am blogging my daily blog.

Once upon a time, Sunday was a day of rest. Families spent the day together, stores and service stations were closed. Grocery shopping for your big Sunday dinner had to completed in advance. If you wanted to take a road trip, you needed to make sure that your gas tank was filled by closing time on Saturday night. One of the few remnants of "blue laws" is on the books in North Dakota where even the 24-hour Wal*Mart closes from 12:00 midnight until 12:00 noon on Sundays.

Times change and Sunday has become just another day to shop, get the laundry done and catch up on your sleep. Many of us rarely take time out of our lives to stop and enjoy the best that life has to offer. Some of us may even long for a simpler time when it was possible to set aside a day for family and rest. Isn't it strange that technology intended to make our lives easier has actually brought about a busier lifestyle that keeps us running seven days a week?

Despite our station in life - where we live and what we do for a living, unless we make a conscious effort to take time our for ourselves, we run a great risk. We risk never really knowing ourselves. What makes us who we are - the things we enjoy, what makes us happy, our hopes and goals for the future. In the end, what legacy do we want to leave behind as a testimony to living?

In the midst of current social debate, there are a few who would try to convince the world of the differences that exist between groups of people. However, in the society in which I live, I am unable to clearly identify instances which make me different from my neighbors. Everyone shares similar struggles, we all have hopes and fears for the future, the same potential for serious health concerns affects all of us equally. If ever there was a time for rest needed, it would be in the year 2009.

~ DB Turnmire

Fragile Life

How fragile is this life we lead anyway? The answer to that question will, of course, depend on your personal perspective. Where have you come from and where are you going? What are the foundational principles upon which you pursue your daily life?

During the spring of the year as nature renews itself, reminders of the fragility of life are all around us. Delicate young plants shoot forth from the earth seeking sunlight. Baby animals of both domestic and untamed species make their appearances on the planet. Millions of farmers and gardeners till the soil, plant the seeds and begin the tedious task of nurturing multitudes of flowers and crops toward maturity.

Consider what happens when not enough rain falls to water the soil. Seedling wither and die, grass becomes dried fuel for fires and the earth may become scorched by winds and, on occasion, wildfires - some caused by nature, others caused by mankind. The cycle goes on in nature if plants die and crops fail. When food is not available for animals, those precious babies may starve to death. On the other hand, a different kind of destruction may happen when there is too much rain and flood waters overtake the land. The results may actually be similar in the end.

There should be no doubt that life as we know it is in a fragile state. In our world today, in the midst of economic crisis, financial distress and foreclosure chaos, human life is more fragile than ever. Millions of families and inidviduals have lost their jobs, are unable to meet their mortgage payments and risk becoming homeless. Even renters have found themselves looking for a new place to call home because of a foreclosure on their rental housing. The stress of losing income and homes has taken its toll on many individuals. Recent news headlines relate the pain and sorrow that some have faced.

Countless individuals among us would never have imagined the state of the world today in our lifetimes. It seems as though there once existed an air of immunity - that this could not happen, especially in the United States of America. Yet here we are on April 18, 2009. If we look closely, we may actually see some signs of progress or recovery.

Hope for a better tomorrow and live each day as if it might be your last. Some may think that to be a morbid thought but I remember a story which I have heard more than once over the years. A young mother was asked how she would teach her young child "to live". She replied, "I will teach my child how to die because in preparing him to die, I will also be teaching him how to live each day of his life."

Life is fragile but just imagine how different life would be if every one of us lived each day as if it were our last. How different would we look at the simple things in life? Would we treat others with the dignity and respect they deserve? Would we make the most of every opportunity that was presented to us? It is most certainly something to think about.

~ DB Turnmire

How Do You Spell M-E-M-O-R-Y?

April 17 rolls around every year and it seems that almost every without fail, one certain memory surfaces. On Saturday, April 17, 1971, I had the proud honor of representing Dodge County at the Minneapolis Star-Tribune spelling bee for the state of Minnesota. This was quite the achievement for a sixth grade farm boy from a small school in southern Minnesota. Not only had I won my school's spelling bee, which for some reason only included fifth and sixth graders at the time, but I had won the county spelling bee beating out mostly seventh and eighth grade students from the other school districts in our county.

Accompanied by one of my older sisters and the superintendent of schools and his wife, who was my sixth reading and spelling teacher, this was my first trip to the big city of Minneapolis (at least in my recollection). Only once before had I traveled to the Twin Cities and that during our sixth grade trip to the Minnesota State capital. Truly this was an experience for someone who had barely been across the borders into Iowa and Wisconsin. Our family farm was primarily a dairy farm and you didn't travel very far very often. I still remember the excitement of riding in the elevator at the Foshay Tower.

In the morning was the written test and I clearly remember that I had never heard of most the words we were expected to spell during that written test. As you can probably tell, I was not one of those who had earned the right to participate in the afternoon's oral test. I cannot remember what we did that long afternoon but I do remember that we had to stay around for the evening's banquet. This was quite boring since I was disappointed in my performance and didn't really care to watch as others were awarded ribbons and prizes.

Every once in awhile, I reflect on that date and wonder why I still remember those events. Actually, there were many years in my late teens and twenties when I probably gave the date little or no thought at all. It was as I entered my thirties that I started reflecting on this and other events that had played a part in shaping my adult life and who I am today. We all know because we have been told over and over again that there is no point in dwelling on the past.

However, there is wisdom in giving the past its proper perspective and recognizing how it helped to shape the present and will likely have an impact on our future. In my case, it has helped me to become an above average Scrabble player and a fairly decent proofreader. I also believe that God, in His providential wisdom, used those events in my life to help prepare me for more successes and disappointments throughout my life.

Thursday's Child

Some of you from my generation will remember the nursery rhyme which associates a personal characteristic with the day of the week on which you were born. Remember "Monday's child is fair of face; Tuesday's child is full of grace", etc. It goes on to relate that "Thursday's child has far to go" which is of course somewhat better than Wednesday's child which is "full of woe". Of course, these are just the words of a silly nursery rhyme from the days of my childhood.

Then, I went to elementary and junior high school and learned that if you wore green or purple on Thursdays, you were considered queer. While certainly, those age groups today would associate that with being gay, I am not certain that in the late 1960s and early 1970s in small town, rural Minnesota, my school peers even had a clue what they were talking about. For those of us isolated on our remote farms and small town homes during those days, we mostly thought of "queer" as being strange or unusual. And I almost forgot to mention that if you ate green M & Ms in those days, that would "make you queer". I can only imagine how many green chocolate morsels were simply thrown in the garbage rather than risk making someone queer.

Back in the 1960s and 1970s, it seems we did "have far to go" in our understanding of one another and what should be considered true character. If only I had known then what I know now, I might have worn green and purple every Thursday. Do you remember when it was not acceptable for men to wear pastels, especially pink and lavender? Of course, similar to the schools kids of my day, it was considered feminine for adult men to wear "girly" colors. Just based on a handful of individuals whom I saw wearing pink dress shirts this past Easter, I am sure California's governor is beside himself with the number of "girly men" in his midst.

It is very doubtful that every child born on Thursday is faced with major challenges in his or her life. However, what is certain is that the "Thursday's child" mentality or the "wear green or purple on Thursday" childish ridicule of years past remain challenges to all of us in the 21st century. Don't we still make up silly little rules upon which we judge people. We place so many labels upon individuals to describe their lifestyle, which niche within that lifestyle they fit into, body type, the way they dress, what kind of car or truck they drive, where they live, what they do for a living, and on and on the list goes. As a result, if they do not meet our checklist for new people, we are likely to not even speak to them when we encounter them in a social setting.

In retrospect, it would seem that many of us have "Thursday's child" syndrome indeed. Perhaps we have just as "far to go" as the school children of the 1960s and 1970s or our contemporary adults who hold fast to a narrow-minded vision of human life and their fellow residents on the planet. A wise religious teacher once stated that it is "not what goes into a person that makes them unclean" but it is "what comes out of that person's heart." The call for all of us then is to start living from the inside out. With that said, we do have "far to go."

~ DB Turnmire

How Much Will It Cost Me?

It's April 15, 2009 and once again, a number of our fellow citizens will be filled with dread and fear as they scramble to complete and file their tax forms or file for an extension by midnight tonight. One of the big questions for many will be "how much will it cost me?" That question may be applied not only to tax bills but also to a plethora of other things in our lives as well.

For me, aside from the disappointment that Bill and I are unable to file our taxes jointly and received other tax benefits that married couples receive, I have rarely been anguished over paying taxes. This even when I was saddled with the entire tax bill during two years when I was self-employed and was not allowed to claim any of my children as exemptions thanks to the district judge who presided over my divorce.

Every day, I take advantage of the benefits of governments which collect taxes to provide services and protections. On any given day, I am able to walk out of the home that I own with Bill "on paper", get in one of our vehicles and drive on roads and highways paid for and repaired with tax dollars (income taxes, gas taxes, property taxes). During my post-secondary educational years, I benefited from grants provided by the federal government for students in need. Several members of my family currently benefit from Social Security payments and medicare benefits funded in part by taxes which I have paid over the years.

Two of my four children are currently enlisted in the United States military. Tax dollars provide them with equipment needed for training, monetary benefits real time and educational opportunities in the future. It would be my hope that our tax dollars will also be used wisely to provide for the thousands of men and women who have been injured or disabled while serving this nation over the last two decades as well as countless others before them throughout history.

Tax day will occur on or about April 15 each year unless the tax code is changed. From time to time, we all feel a bit overwhelmed or oppressed by taxes. Just remember that the government is intended to be of benefit to the citizens of this country. Even Jesus said, "Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's". Whether you believe that refers to paying taxes or not, for me it is recognition of the sovereignty of civil government. Like it or not, tax day has come again and tomorrow is another day.

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~ DB Turnmire

Family By Choice

Well-informed citizens of the 21st century will realize the ongoing debate over "marriage and family" which exists in the United States. As socially progressive states like Iowa and Vermont join Massachusetts and Connecticut allowing same-sex couples to wed, other states struggle to accept gay marriage or have repealed the right given briefly. Arguments against allow same-sex marriage range from making gay marriage responsible for destroying "marriage and family" to the absurd predictions that soon we will be allowing humans to marry animals or plants.

It seems safe to say that a majority of adults have been raised in what we assumed to be heterosexual traditional families or by what appeared to be heterosexual parents. While this certainly has changed and will continue to change in years to come, there will be many who will continue to consider family to be a father and mother with their children. Rather than face the real issues behind the breakdown of the traditional heterosexual family, opponents of same-sex marriage will continue to point their fingers at gays and lesbians. As if somehow the desire to formalize our relationships will cause the homosexualization of all of civilization and thus bring about doom and gloom as procreation of the human race grinds to a screeching halt.

As I consider gay and lesbian couples who wish to sanctify their relationships as official marriages, I am reminded that "families" have already been forged by consenting adults who have chosen to live together and blend their lives as one. Oftentimes, this has included the children of one or both of the partners. Within our community it is common for "families" to be formed by choice as we have on occasion been excluded by our families of birth or chosen to separate ourselves rather than be ridiculed or gossipped about behind our backs. Even those not in relationships by choice or circumstance will often form "families" of their closest friends within the community.

Families of choice did not originate within the gay community. The biblical gospels illustrate for us that Jesus "chose" to surround Himself with those who many in His society considered sinners and outcasts. Numbered among His closest followers were a prostitute, a thief who embezzled money from the disciples' treasury and a tax collector - tax collecting was considered by most to be one of the lowest, most sinful occupations of the day. Furthermore, in His ministry, Jesus ministered to lepers, a woman who had many husbands and was now an adulterer, those who were demon-possessed and many other people considered unclean by religious zealots and ordinary citizens alike. These were the people that became Jesus' family by choice.

How do I know that Jesus considered these individuals "family members"? Matthew, Mark and Luke relate an account of Jesus teaching in Galilee. The events took place when his birth mother and his brothers born from the same woman came to see Him. The reason for their coming was because they had heard some of the things that Jesus was teaching and they wanted to come and straighten Him out so to speak. In reality, they thought Jesus was a bit crazy and they came to take him home to avoid family embarrassment. Jesus questioned those who brought Him the news. He said, "Who is my mother and where are my brothers?" Then He pointed to those sitting around Him - the disciples and others who were listening to His teaching. Jesus said, "Here are my mother and my brothers." [Matthew 12:46-50; Mark 3:31-35; Luke 8:19-21] Christ's family is based not on blood relationships but on doing the will of God.

To close out this blog, I would like to pose the following questions for those who may take a differing stand on same-sex marriage. Would it be considered the will of God for the children who have been raised by gay parents to be taken from them because they do not meet the definition of family determined by a few? Is it honestly the will of God to exclude a same-sex spouse who has nurtured and cared for the other spouse for 35 years because that person is now in intensive care and they don't fit the definition of family arbitrarily set by the hospital or legal system? When two people have committed themselves to each other, have joint bank accounts, purchased a home, furniture and vehicles together, and lived together as a couple, is it the will of God to tax them as single persons, deny a surviving partner inheritance rights and exclude them from programs designed to assist married couples as long one is male and the other female?

~ DB Turnmire

Easter Monday Blues

For several hundred years until the second half of the last century, the Monday after Easter was celebrated as a holiday in its own right. While Easter Sunday was primarily a religious festival and immediate families gathered together to share a common meal, the following day was celebrated with extended families or neighbors. In many places, the church festival which hit its highest notes on Easter Sunday spilled over into Monday. As a result, many local parishes provided an additional worship opportunity on Easter Monday.

In the 21st century, we would be hard pressed to find a church holding a worship service or extended families gathering for a Monday meal. I do remember during my elementary school days that our school district would commonly extend the Easter break to include Easter Monday. Those were the days when it was rare for public schools to recess for a week long "spring break". Instead, what I recall was a long Easter weekend with days off including Thursday through Monday.

Since the day following Easter carries no significance for a majority of the world's population, what we find on Easter Monday is a spirit of depression. Like a let down following a major high, the festivities of this spring holiday are over. The magical Easter bunny has made his appearance at any number of homes, brightly colored new outfits were shown off, early morning breakfasts, brunches and ham dinners were the order of the day. Yesterday, lilies and tulips in a variety of brilliant hues were the hottest flowers in town.

Today's fare calls for leftovers, putting away the Easter decorations, perhaps throwing out the leftover candy to prevent yet another sugar rush, putting away the Easter outfits in the far reaches of the closet and deciding what to do with all those Easter lilies.

More often than not, following a major holiday, it is common for individuals to be struck with "the blues". Perhaps yesterday's family gathering wasn' quite what we expected. Maybe we didn't attend because our family does not accept who we are or we are the ones no longer comfortable around them. The busyness of celebrating a perfect holiday tends to overshadow the joy and meaning of the day itself.

What a pleasure it must have been for centuries to extend the festivities of Easter an extra day! While it is not practical or possible to return to an earlier time, it may be helpful for all of us to gain an historical perspective. That perspective may be just what we need to chase away the "Easter Monday blues."

~ DB Turnmire

Easter Gaeity

Easter holds many different life memories for me. At my age, I barely remember the days when the festival was a "gay" event. Not in the sense that the word is most often used today to describe a community within our society. Prior to the association with homosexuality, "gay" would be used to describe a manner of dress or decoration.

At a time when it was more in vogue to show off your new Easter outfits, females of all economic means would appear on Easter morning in gaily adorned Easter dresses complete with some variation of a "gay" Easter bonnet. The show at most churches, country clubs and restaurants on Easter Sunday would have rivaled even the most outlandish drag show today. Certainly, for many who participated and enjoyed the Easter pageantry, it would have been a sin to appear on Easter Sunday in an outfit that your friends and neighbors had seen before.

How things have changed over the years! Not only has the word "gay" taken on a more common usage than in the past, those who would have engaged in the pageantry of Easter may entirely miss the message of the celebration. It is true that Easter is a celebration of life and that may be secularized and minimized to Easter baskets, colored eggs and a fictional bunny rabbit who supposedly hops by your house to deliver the goodies.

As a former Lutheran Christian pastor and openly partnered gay man, the message of Easter has not changed. The most important festival of the church year takes place every year at Easter. "For God so loved the world that He gave His One and Only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." [John 3:16] Nowhere in the biblical Scriptures' promise of salvation does God base His gift on one's sexuality. Faith is the key to the hope of salvation through the Savior.

Christ is Risen! He is Risen indeed! Celebrate again a new "gay" life with all its hopes and promises!!

~ DB Turnmire

Saturday Vigil

As children, we find waiting for something to be excruciating. Perhaps you remember waiting for Santa or your family gift exchange at Christmas. At this time of the year, those of us who were ourselves children or are parents of children will recall anticipating the Easter holiday. Whether our family engaged in coloring Easter eggs, hiding eggs for an egg hunt, or just waiting to find our Easter basket on Sunday morning, all of us have on occasion found it difficult to wait for something we are really looking forward to.

In an earlier post, I discussed the biblical character Job, his life trials and his ability to wait patiently for God's response without losing his faith. During this time of year, we may also find ourselves anticipating springtime weather, new leaves on trees and planting flowers and gardens. Farmers find themselves busy with preparations or actually tilling and planting the soil. Then, they wait and watch the growing season with its weather variations in hope of a bountiful harvest.

A commonly used phrase which I have heard over the years to describe someone who possesses patience as a virtue is to say that the person has "the patience of Job". Emulating Job for many of us is not an easy task. For example, in my own life, I find myself watching and waiting (while continuing to submit job applications) for a new opportunity in which to further develop my career and life experiences. Job faced similar frustrations especially during his time of trial but he refused to give up.

Beyond the bunnies, colorful eggs, shiny shoes and pressed new clothes, there is more to Easter for millions of people around the world. Early in the morning on that first Easter Sunday, a promise was fulfilled. Followers of Christ waited in excruciating pain for the Passover Sabbath to end so that they could attend to the body lain in the tomb. The words meant to ring joy in their ears were at the same time uplifting and confusing.

In those first few days, the meaning of the Easter event was made clear and quietly shared among the believing community. We who continue to believe in the grace of Easter know that our waiting and watching is not in vain. Hope is the promise and the gift of Easter [John 3:16]. Keep the vigil and prepare yourselves for tomorrow's celebration!

~ DB Turnmire

"Good" Friday

During my formative years, I remember hearing that "Good Friday" was the day when my farming forefathers would often plant their potatoes to ensure a successful crop. Regardless of the weather or whether the ground was still was frozen, wise farm men and women would be sure to plant their potatoes on Good Friday.

Of course, because Easter is a movable feast which falls on the first Sunday after the first full moon following the vernal (spring) equinox. As a result of this method of determining Easter defined by the early church, the date on which Easter falls may be anytime from the last two Sundays of March to the third Sunday in April of a given year. Therefore Good Friday also may occur anytime from the last days of March to late in April.

This "Good Friday", I am reminded of that which makes this day "good" for those who believe that Christ was the Son of God and that His death has meaning for those who believe in Him. As part of a community which celebrates diversity, I realize that not everyone will acknowledge or comprehend the events which draw Christian believers to solemn reflection on this day.

Is "Good" Friday 2009 a good day for you?

~DB Turnmire

Modern Day "Job"

Some of you are undoubtedly familiar with the Old Testament Biblical character, Job. This man had been blessed by God with family, land and possessions. God presented Job as an example of faithfulness and steadfastness to the Evil One. So confident in His servant, God allowed Satan to tempt this man of God in several feeble attempts to bring Job to the point of cursing his Maker.

As a result of "this deal", Job lost his entire family (except for his wife), his land, his possessions and his reputation among his so-called friends. Afflicted with sores which covered him from head to toe, his friends tried to convince Job that he had committed some horrrendous sin against God and was suffering the wrath of God in return. Even his wife could not understand why he refused to accept his fate and curse The Almighty.

In the face of our current economic times, many individuals find themselves facing circumstances which could set them up as "modern day Jobs". Jobs have been lost, homes have been foreclosed, and in some instances families have disintegrated under the stress of economic downturn. When facing difficult times, it would be easy to "curse God and die".

However, in the midst of my own economic downturn, I have been reminded that this is exactly when I should be considering my blessings. My life has been blessed and I continue to be amazed at how God provides. I have a loving life partner, Bill, who has supported me through these tough times even as he faces his own struggles with medical disability. For the most part, my children are supportive as they can be in the midst of their own life issues and challenges.

It has been more than five months since my previous employer terminated my employment due to the economic crisis. During the following weeks and months following my layoff, I have been unable to secure another position. Six monthly mortgage payments have been met during that time by the grace of God. To date, no monthly bill payments have been missed. Do I know how we will make next month's mortgage payment? Not at this time. I am always reminded of God's words to His servant, Joshua. "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." [Joshua 1:9]

Millions of individuals have lost gainful employment over the past two years in the United States alone. Depression and despair have led some to inflict pain and death on loved ones or strangers before surrendering to suicide. Thousands of individuals and families now find themselves homeless as a result of the home financing debacle. In modern times, the reaction of friends is often abandonment rather than pointing fingers of blame. Perhaps the result is even more devastating today than in Job's day.

Living in 2009, all of us find ourselves faced with challenges and questions basic to life in these uncertain times. We simply cannot take jobs, homes, friends and family for granted. By the end of the biblical account of Job, this man of God was blessed even more than he had been earlier in his life. On this side of this time of trial, it may be hard to envision the blessings on the other side.

Be encouraged, keep the faith, pray for endurance and trust that "the best is yet to come"!

~ DB Turnmire